This past fall was the must trying tone of the adoption journey for our family. We were so close to travel, yet we kept experiencing so many bizarre delays. I couldn't understand why God would allow these things to happen which kept us from our daughter. Wasn't I everything she needed? It was a dark time emotionally. I felt anger, confusion and a deep sense of being left in the cold.
One day, I was pouring out my emotions to another adoptiove momma. I posed the same questions to her. How could God let this happen? The Holy Spirit breathed through her words telling me everything I needed to know. She said that we have no idea the magnitude of God's love for the orphans. His love is far greater than our own understanding. (Insert negative response from me-"If He loves her then why doesn't He get me to her?" Her response was that our God is sovereign and we will never understand these things on Earth. His plan is perfect and we are not. HE is what Annabelle needs. So, now a huge light bulb went off and I'm feeling silly that I had believed the enemies lies once again.
Trust is very hard with the unknown or unexplained. I know God is in control and that His plan is perfect. I thought my plan was His. Oh how I fall into that trap more frequent than I would like to.
From that moment on, I had to give up 100% of any expectations on this journey. I had to stop looking back at what I thought should have happened and start looking forward to the future.
Here is what I see now.....
Our Father loves Annabelle a million times more than this momma's heart does. As I write this and reflect on our journey, I'm in awe of His love for our baby. Sweet Annabelle is about to have her whole world turned over. All she has evern known is that orphange. Tomorrow will be one of the most amazing days of our lives yet one of the worst days of hers up to this point. Like her mommy this past fall, she may be confused, angry and scared.
****This is the crib they sent to our room. Notice Mickey Mouse everywhere? Not a coincidence ;)
****This is the crib they sent to our room. Notice Mickey Mouse everywhere? Not a coincidence ;)
I look back at the grace and joy of our adoption. I read your comments. I reflect on your gifts, visits tears and hugs. I think about the MASSIVE army of supporters she has waiting for her bak in the good ole USA. She has a princess room full of toys, clothes, bows and her very own bed. She has brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and many more family friends anxiously waiting for her.
Do you see where I'm going with this? Look at how much our Father loves this sweet baby. Right now she has no clue what is in store. She will understand one day how loved she is. My friends, this is a very small glimpse of the lover our Father has for us. Our prize is in heaven NOT on Earth.
Jesus has a room prepared for us. The angels are anxiously awaiting our arrival. We have a MASSIVE army of God's kingdom in heaven. You are loved NOT because of what you do but because God IS love.
We are all loved deeply by God and he has chosen us!!. All we have to do is choose Him and recognize Him as our Lord and Savior. Oh what an amazing promise!
Tomorrow morning at 9:30am (that will be in Texas time Sunday night at 7:30pm) we will walk into Civil Affairs and meet Annabelle. She will be an orphan no more....
John 14:18
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